


More Than Enough

by miikasaa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-18
Updated: 2014-05-18
Packaged: 2018-01-25 16:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1654475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miikasaa/pseuds/miikasaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa never understood why she should even try to beat her cancer, why any of the other patients should either. That all changed once Eren joined their hospital with an incredible fighting attitude and a knack for making people feel better. Modern day cancer ward AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Enough

“We’re getting a new patient today,” Dr. Smith announced, his eyes glued to the clipboard in his hand.

“Is she hot?” Someone, presumably Reiner, called from across the ward.

“His name is Eren Jaeger and he just transferred from a hospital in the Midwest. He’ll be sharing a room with Armin.”

Only because Thomas died, Mikasa thought, her eyes trained on her book.

“Wait… Jaeger?” Marco asked, putting down his book. “Isn’t that the same name as that renowned oncologist?”

Dr. Smith sighed and flipped the papers back onto the clipboard. “Yes, actually. It’s Dr. Jaeger’s son.”

“His son?”  
From one of the couches in the middle of the room, Ymir snorted, grabbing Historia’s hand as the smaller girl attempted to block her words. “What shitty luck.”

The elevator light suddenly sounded, signaling a new arriver to the floor. Dr. Smith turned just as the doors opened to reveal one of the nurses and a boy who looked about Mikasa’s age.

The boy, Eren, looked around quietly, giving every patient in the room a quick one-over.

Mikasa noticed his eyes first, how bright of a green they were, but most importantly, how full of life they seemed to be. He grinned suddenly, taking his duffel from the floor of the elevator despite Petra’s insistences that she would take it.

“I’m Eren,” he greeted, his smile as big as ever.

What the hell?

Everyone mumbled back his or her names.

Petra stood beside him, gesturing to the small blonde seated next to Marco on a couch, “You’ll be sharing with Armin Arlert, in room 201.”

“Awesome, thank you.”

Dr. Smith placed his hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “Eren, if there’s anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask. Dr. Zoe and Nurse Levi are also on call tonight. We’ll do your first screening in the morning.”

“Okay.”

As soon as the two adults were gone, Eren tossed his duffel against the elevator doors and jogged to the couches, flopping down next to his new roommate. “You’re Armin, huh?”

Mikasa watched from her chair as Eren animatedly talked to everyone seated on the couches. She overheard him talk about his old school, the trip to the new hospital, and his dreams for the future.

“I want to be a doctor, too. Like my dad.”

“Doctors don’t do shit.”

“Jean!” Historia exclaimed.

Ymir rolled her eyes. “You’re being treated by doctors, moron.”

“At least they try.” Eren countered.

“Hah?”

“Doctors get up every single fucking day and work to try and find cures and explanations for the shit people go through. Would you rather they let every single sick person die?” Eren’s hands curled into fists, and Jean looked ready to punch him in the nose, but Marco put a hand on the taller boy’s shoulder and told an unrelated story in an attempt to curb the tension.

Armin talked about his own goals, to travel to every country and experience everything the world had to offer.

The other patients were soon involved in the conversation; even Bertholdt looked more at ease as he occasionally spoke up.

Reiner soon explained the “ropes” to the new boy, telling him about curfew, where the cafeteria was, who the hottest nurses were. He continued until Sasha pushed him out of the way, perching herself on the armrest of the couch to tell Eren all the ways to sneak extra food from the cafeteria.

“Speaking of food,” Connie said, helping Sasha from the couch when she began to drool, “Dinner’s starting right about now.”

“Let’s go, then,” Eren said, standing with an arm around Armin’s shoulders.

He’d been there for two hours and already it seemed like everyone on the floor was his best friend.

Annie paused in front of Mikasa, staring at the group heading towards the elevator and stairs. “Are you coming tonight?”

Mikasa shook her head and Annie continued on without another word.

A few moments after the echo of voices faded, an apple obstructed Mikasa’s view of her book. She looked up, and was only mildly surprised to see Levi taking a seat across from her.

“I had a feeling you weren’t going to eat tonight.”

She sighed, folding a page in her book and setting it on the floor. “Thanks,” she murmured, peeling the sticker away from the fruit.

Levi nodded. He unscrewed the cap to his thermos of tea, fixing her with a bored stare. “You need to eat.”

It was a routine argument, one they’d been having since she was first admitted into the hospital. However, once her records revealed Levi to be her uncle and only remaining relative, he’d tried harder to make sure she ate and wasn’t always alone.

At first she’d hated it, but as the years passed by she found she didn’t mind his company.

She broke the comfortable silence. “I don’t get him.”

“Who? Jaeger?” Mikasa nodded. “He seems to be the same as the rest of you brats.”

“Maybe to you,” she answered drily. “He was talking about becoming a doctor, encouraging Armin to follow his dreams and get to Europe, and even told Reiner he’d become a famous boxer. There’s no guarantee any of them will do that!”

Levi paused for a moment before setting his thermos onto the floor. “There’s no guarantee that they won’t- hey, I mean it,” he emphasized when she scoffed.

Mikasa dropped her gaze to the apple in her lap. “What are his chances?”

“Mikasa-” She met his eyes and something in her gaze must have convinced him because he sighed and sat forward in his chair. “Ten percent. Just like you.”

“He’s an idiot, then.”

Levi didn’t say anything. After a brief, tense silence, Dr. Hanji paged him over the intercom. He stood and gestured to the apple. “Eat,” he commanded, taking his thermos and disappearing down the stairs.

Mikasa hurled the fruit across the room.

——-

A month passed and nearly everyone on the floor saw improvements.

Historia, who’d had a 90% chance since being admitted six months ago, was declared cancer free by the end of the month. She hugged Eren as hard as she could on the day she was released.

“I told you,” Eren said, smoothing down her hair, “nothing’s impossible.”

Ymir’s progress was significant, but she couldn’t leave just yet. However, as Historia stepped into the elevator with Dr. Erwin and her guardian, the taller girl promised they’d be married as soon as she was let out.

Even Jean improved, though he still lost his hair. Sasha gave him a beanie to match hers and the one she gave Connie, and the three of them posed ridiculously for Reiner’s phone.

Berthold, Reiner, and Annie’s odds went up slightly. It was nothing like Historia or Ymir’s, but sometimes a little good news was more than enough.

Armin’s cancer was nearly gone, and he quickly became even more exuberant about telling Eren his plans for travel.

Marco walked back into the room after his most recent tests, navigating around Connie and Sasha’s posing to sit on the couch beside Eren.

Jean noticed him immediately. “Hey, Marco! How did the testing go?”

Marco smiled brightly. “Better than last time.” Jean threw his arms around Marco’s shoulders.

For some, it was enough.

——- 

Mikasa hated the winter. The cold only serve to remind her of her parent’s deaths and how she was dying and that all of them were dying.

So as the weather began to get colder, the young girl found herself spending more time alone in her room, or rather as alone as she could be with Sasha as a roommate, not wanting to put a damper on the good mood Eren had cast upon the floor.

“What are you reading?”

She looked up to see the very person she’d been thinking about standing in the doorway to her room, his dark brown hair windswept and a red scarf tied neatly around his neck. His cheeks were flushed, and Mikasa could only wonder why he would go outside in this weather.

Instead of answering, the young girl held up her book to allow him to read the cover.

Eren snorted. “The Fault in Our Stars? Seriously?”

“It’s a metaphor,” she spit, but he didn’t seem to get the reference. Honestly, she had run out of books and Levi hadn’t had time to run to the bookstore, so when Historia gave it to her as a going away present, Mikasa had been unable to refuse the small girl’s bright blue eyes.

She looked back down to her book, expecting him to take her hint and go, but to her surprise she felt the bed shift under his added weight as he sat next to her.

“I think Reiner’s trying to get a game of charades started. Do you want to join?”

“No.” She shivered lightly; she had to close the damn window. “Thanks, though.”

He tried again. “Want to look through Armin’s geography books?”

“No. I don’t like to picture a future I’m not going to live to see.”

Eren was silent for a moment. Mikasa wondered if she’d gone too far or offended him, but just as she was about to speak again he beat her to it.

“That’s a pretty shitty way to look at things.”

Mikasa felt her mouth fall open; she scrambled to right herself, brushing her raven colored hair out of her eyes. “It’s true,” she huffed. “What’s the point in playing pretend? I hear the doctors and nurses sometimes. I’ve got some of the worst odds they’ve ever seen. I should have died years ago.”

“You didn’t, though, and that’s got to mean something.” He turned to face her on the bed, and Mikasa nearly faltered under the intensity of his gaze. “Mikasa, odds mean nothing. Okay, so Historia had the best, and she got out of here. But what about people like Armin? He was at 33% a few weeks ago. Now look at him!” Eren pointed towards her open door. “He might be released in a couple months!”

To her surprise, Mikasa found herself blinking back tears. “Eren-”

“Bertholdt’s were almost as bad as Marco’s, but they’re still going. Even Annie, who told me she didn’t ever think about getting better anymore, is improving. Why? Because they’re fighting against the cancer!”

“You want me to fight my very own cells?” She bit out, throwing her book to the side.

“If that’s what it fucking takes to get better! If you don’t fight against this, Mikasa, you die! But if you fight, you win and you get to keep living!”

Mikasa sniffed quietly, and a long moment passed in silence. “I’m sorry.”

Eren slowly calmed his breathing, furrowing his brows at her apology. “Don’t be sorry, Mikasa, just fight. And live.” He leaned back, propping his hands behind him. He bit his lip, dropping his gaze to his lap. “My mom died of cancer when I was ten,” he said after a moment, surprising her.

She stiffened, turning herself to face him, mimicking his pose. He had never spoken of his family life before, and she didn’t understand why he would talk now, and to her of all people.

“What shitty luck, huh?” He chucked humorlessly. “A world renowned doctor loses his wife and possibly his only son to the very disease he’s trying to eradicate. Her death… it’s why I want to become a doctor myself. It’s why, even after getting diagnosed, I still poured over my father’s medical books.” Eren lifted his gaze back to hers, a sad smile playing on his features. “I know ten percent is practically nothing, but it’s still something. It’s a chance, a fighting chance, and I’m not going to let it go to waste.”

“Eren-”

He covered her hand with his, his bright green eyes burning a hole straight to her heart. “I’m not going to let anyone’s chances go to waste.”

Mikasa dropped her head, holding back the sob that threatened to escape. How could she have been such an idiot? She wasn’t the only person suffering in the world. She’d spent so long wondering why she hadn’t just died already, her odds were poor enough to warrant death, that she’d forgotten to live, to take her ten percent and live as long as she could.

She would never give up on her life again. Wordlessly, she promised him on that.

“Here.” Looking up, Mikasa watched as Eren unwrapped his scarf, clumsily throwing it around her own neck. At the sight of her confused expression, Eren smiled again, genuinely this time. “You looked cold.”

She fixed the scarf securely around her neck, immediately warmed by the fabric. “Thank you, Eren.”

Eren stood suddenly; using the hold he previously had on her hand to tug her up to her feet, leading her from the room.

“Even if you don’t play charades, at least come spend time with everyone.”

The teams had already been formed, and they arrived just as Sasha was doing a poor job of getting her team to guess what she was. (A hippo.)

Connie shouted, “How the hell was that a hippo?”

“You’re a hippo!”

Eren led her to the couch, where she folded her legs beneath her, resting her arm on the couch and her chin in her hand. “Got room for one more?” He asked.

Reiner nodded, grabbing the shorter boy’s arm to bring him to his team of himself, Annie, Marco, and Armin.

“I’m gonna beat your ass, Jaeger!”

“Bring it, Kirschtein!”

Mikasa watched as her friends turned into absolute fools trying to pantomime different prompts. (Her favorite was Reiner’s rendition of a cheerleader.)

While watching, she absentmindedly picked up one of the rolls Sasha had smuggled from the cafeteria, slowly taking bites as she laughed along with her friends. Occasionally, she locked gazes with Eren, and every time she did he grinned widely at her, and soon Mikasa found herself genuinely smiling back.

——-

“Mikasa’s most recent test results are in,” Dr. Zoe announced as they nearly barreled into the office, breathing heavily and holding a manila folder.

Levi and Erwin looked up from their computers and the files of the other patients that were strewn across their desks.

Erwin spoke first, “How are they?”

They grinned. “Better.”

“Really?” Levi took the file from their hands, scanning the numbers and words quickly. He felt a small smile tug at his lips. “They’re up from last time, that’s for sure.”

Erwin looked at the papers next. “This is the first time in almost a year her results have gone up. You must be proud,” he grinned at Levi.

“It’s got to be Eren,” Hanji grinned, sitting in the chair across from Erwin’s desk. “Since he’s shown up, everyone’s results have improved!”

“You think this is Eren’s doing?” Erwin asked.

They nodded excitedly. “He’s not curing their cancer for them, obviously, but his fight and live attitude is really bringing the entire ward up. I even saw Mikasa laughing at dinner last night!”

“She’s eating regularly?” Levi inquired, shuffling through a few of his papers.

“Yep, been there every day this week, for three whole meals.” The shorter male breathed an audible sigh of relief. “I think she’s gonna pull through.”

Erwin stood, gather the necessary files for Marco’s next set of treatment. “Whatever he’s doing, it’s helped every kid on that floor. We should be thankful he’s here.”

——-

Another month passed and Bertholdt, Ymir, and Connie were released from the hospital.

Sasha told Connie to text her every day or she’d hunt him down, and Connie, not doubting her threat for a second, promised he would. 

Bertholdt promised Annie and Reiner he’d be there for them as soon as they were released. The day he left, Mikasa saw Annie cry for the very first time.

Ymir’s departure was the most uneventful one. She told everyone she might miss one or two of them, and then got in the elevator saying she couldn’t wait to be back with Historia.

Mikasa stood next to Annie and Reiner, watching silently as Eren waved again to Ymir just as the doors closed.

He turned and nudged his elbow into Armin’s side, grinning widely. “I bet you’re gonna get out next.”

“I don’t know, Eren,” he laughed, rubbing at the back of his head.

Eren waved off his doubts. “Tell me again, what are you gonna do in Egypt?”

Jean stood from the couch, knocking loudly on the door to the room he shared with Marco. “Hey, man, your nap made you miss Ymir! Not that you missed much, but still.” When no reply came, Jean turned the knob, flicking on the light. “Marco, hey. Come on you’ve been asleep almost all day, let’s go get lunch or something.” There was a long pause followed by a broken, “Mar…co?”

Suddenly, Jean was screaming.

Reiner reacted first. He darted into the room, pulling Jean away from his friend’s bedside. Ignoring the shorter boy’s broken cries to be let down, Reiner dragged him out from the room, grunting when one of Jean’s punches hit him square in the jaw. “Annie-” She was already calling Dr. Smith.

“Let me go! Marco, Marco get up! You can’t fucking die on me! Marco! Get the hell up!” Jean’s sobs were punctuated with swears at Reiner, but the blonde still didn’t let him go. “Marco! Please!” He wailed.

The elevator opened again, and Dr. Smith and Levi hurried onto the floor. Levi met Mikasa’s shocked gaze for only a second before hurrying after the doctor.

“Mikasa.” Eren’s voice barely registered in her mind, but she didn’t respond. Levi and Dr. Smith were talking quietly in Marco’s room, but it sounded like a symphony.

Sasha dropped to her knees next to Jean once Reiner had finally let him down, holding his shoulders and saying useless words to try and calm him down. She stopped when his cries only got louder, and settled for wrapping her arms around him. Reiner kept a firm grip on his shoulder.

Mikasa startled when a hand gripped hers. She barely met his eyes before Eren pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest and blocking her view of Marco’s room. “Don’t look.” He whispered to her hair. She clutched at the back of his shirt.

When Jean’s wailing got louder again, Mikasa could only assume Marco was being carried from the room.

“He fought, though,” Mikasa murmured against Eren’s chest.

He rubbed nonessential patterns against her back. “He did. It just… it wasn’t enough.” His voice broke on the last word.

The floor was silent save for Jean’s broken moaning.

Mikasa wanted to scream. Marco had always been happy, he’d helped anyone who needed it and always knew how to cheer someone up. He deserved better than to die at such a young age, to lose the battle for his life. He deserved to win.

“Eren.” Eren and Mikasa looked up at the same time, meeting Dr. Zoe’s patient gaze. They continued, “I need to speak to you.”

He nodded, pressing a soft kiss to Mikasa’s hair. “I’ll be back soon,” he told her before following the doctor from the floor.

Jean was still crying, but now the fabric of Sasha’s shirt muffled it. Reiner and Annie sat next to him; both of them pointedly avoided looking into Jean’s empty room.

A sudden pressure around her shoulders made Mikasa turn in surprise. Armin looked ready to cry, but he held his tears at bay as he kept his gaze firmly locked on Jean’s shaking figure. She leaned her head against his in silent support.

That night, Jean slept in the empty bed Bertholdt had left behind, and unofficially became Reiner’s new roommate.

He never stepped foot in his old room again.

——-

It took almost three weeks, but eventually Jean, with Eren and Armin’s help, began eating regularly and getting more involved with the other patients left on the floor again.

In that time, none of them were cleared to leave, but at the same time they weren’t getting worse. Marco’s death had affected them all.

Still, Mikasa fought against the very disease that was killing her body. She owed it to Eren; she owed it to Marco and all of the friends she’d made to continue fighting. So she ate, and she let Jean cry on her shoulder when he needed to, and she even picked places to visit out of Armin’s books.

One afternoon she was sitting on the couch next to Annie, reading her book and ignoring the shouts coming from Eren and Reiner’s thumb war on the other couch. Jean and Armin were looking through a few magazines while Sasha happily munched through a bag of chips, her feet propped on Jean’s lap.

“Hah! Beat you again, Jaeger!”

“Of course you did, your thumb’s twice the size of mine!”

Beside Mikasa, Annie challenged Reiner to a thumb war, and promptly beat him. He didn’t seem to mind, though, and only ruffled her hair even after she threatened him to stop.

Eren flopped onto the couch beside her, throwing an arm on the cushion behind her, laughing as Reiner challenged her a few more times, losing each round. Eren continued to laugh until he began to cough into his hand; discretely grabbing a tissue from the nearby table to wipe- was that blood? –his hand.

“Eren-”

He shook his head, stuffing the tissue into a pocket of his jeans. Mikasa dropped the subject, her brows furrowing as she observed him. He was focused on a passage in her book, his chin resting on her shoulder, but she knew he knew she was watching.

He looked pale, the dark spots beneath his eyes more prominent than usual. Was his hair thinning? No, no she was letting her worry get the better of her. He’d coughed a little, that was all.

Reiner finally admitted defeat just as Eren’s phone began to ring. He fished it from his pocket and checked the caller ID, standing suddenly.

“It’s my dad,” he murmured. “I better take this.”

Mikasa grabbed his hand as he walked past, looking up with concerned eyes. He squeezed her hand lightly, giving her a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Eren touched her hair quickly before swiping his hand across the screen of his phone, pressing it to his ear and talking quietly on his way to the stairs.

Mikasa frowned and took a shaky breath. He was okay. Eren had to be okay. He was Eren.

In an act of bravado, she challenged Reiner to an arm wrestling match, and soon forgot about the blood on Eren’s hand as she easily pushed the blonde’s fist to the table.

After nearly an hour, Mikasa and Annie ended their arm wrestling match in a stalemate despite Sasha’s pleas for them to continue so she could win half of Jean’s dinner if Annie won.

As she prepared herself for bed that night, Mikasa found that she wasn’t as worried for Eren. If anyone would fight against a little cough, it was Eren.

Still, she fell asleep fitfully, her hand clutched around her scarf.

——- 

Five days later, Mikasa nearly bumped straight into Dr. Hanji as she left her room in the morning.

“Ah, Mikasa! Just the person I wanted to see.” They sounded much too energetic for 8AM.

Mikasa smiled politely. “Hello, Dr. Hanji.”

They waved off her formalities with a laugh before waving the clipboard in their hands in front of her face.

Hanji grinned. “I’ve got terrific news. You’re cleared to leave!”

“Me?” She gasped, grabbing the clipboard from the doctor’s hands and flipping through the papers. Most of the writing made no sense to her. “How- but my odds! I- I was terrible! I shouldn’t…”

They laughed, gently taking the clipboard from her stiff hands and patting their hand on her shoulder. “Yup, you! You’ll still have to come back for some treatments occasionally, but as of now, you don’t need to spend all of your time in the hospital.” They jerked a thumb over their shoulder. “Levi is filling out some paperwork right now to become your legal guardian, if you want.”

Mikasa nodded; it wouldn’t be terrible to live with him.

“I’ll go finalize the papers with Erwin. You should be able to leave in a week or so.”

She grabbed their arm just as they turned to leave. Hanji paused before facing her again. “Ah, sorry but do you know where Eren is? I want to tell him.”

Hanji immediately paled, and suddenly they couldn’t meet Mikasa’s eyes. “Mikasa…” they whispered, running a hand down their face.

“H-Hanji? What-”

They looked up, and Mikasa swore the doctor looked like they were about to cry. “Mikasa, I’m so sorry, but Eren is dead.”

The weight of innumerable bricks settled in Mikasa’s stomach, and for a second she thought she would be sick. It had to be a joke, a sick, cruel joke. He’d been fine a few days ago; he wouldn’t leave her.

Eren couldn’t be…

He was… dead?

His smile, his bright green eyes, the way he encouraged everyone he talked to, the way his hand unconsciously curled into a fist whenever he got especially passionate… she would never see any of that again.

“His father arrived a few days ago to transfer him to a different hospital, closer to his old home,” Hanji continued, watching Mikasa’s expression carefully. “Eren’s health had been declining since, actually since around Marco’s death and Dr. Jaeger wanted to treat his son himself. I’m surprised Eren didn’t tell you.”

The blood on his hand suddenly made perfect sense.

Eren is dead.

“No.” She whispered, those three words ringing loudly in her ears.

Eren is dead.

Hanji placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Mikasa pushed it away. She only wanted one person to comfort her, the only person who could never hold her again.

Dead.

They must have sensed Mikasa’s desire to be left alone because after a giving her a small smile, Hanji made an excuse about paperwork and quickly disappeared down the stairs.

Mikasa shoved her hands into her hair, gripping the strands in an attempt to numb the pain blooming through her entire being.

Dead.

She leaned back against the wall next to her door, sliding until she sat on the floor with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

Eren deserved to win. He deserved to keep his life more than anyone else Mikasa knew. He’d helped everyone in the entire ward to get better; he’d helped her get better.

And he’d died.

Mikasa didn’t realize she was screaming until she felt hands on her shoulders, a palm touch her cheek, and she heard someone’s voice, begging her to calm down and explain what was going on.

She pushed at the hands, trying to get whomever it was to go, to leave her alone because she didn’t want help, she wanted Eren to be alive, yelling at her to keep fighting but Eren was dead.

“Mikasa! Mikasa, calm down!” Their hands didn’t leave. Despite her efforts, they gripped her shoulders tightly, forcing her to look up. Jean stared back at her.

“Jean…”

He loosened his grip on her shoulders, pushing the hair away from her face. “Hey, what’s wrong? How long have you been out here?”

“He’s dead, Jean.”

“Who? Mikasa-”

She sniffed. “Eren. He’s dead.”

Jean seemed taken aback. He sank to the floor next to her, their shoulders touching lightly as he leaned his head against the wall. “Fuck.” He murmured. “Eren… I thought out of everyone I knew, that bastard would be the one to survive.”

Mikasa messily wiped her nose on her sleeve, swallowing another sob. “Dr. Hanji told me this morning, just after telling me I was going to be released,” she finished bitterly.

“Hey, at least you’re going home.”

She shot him a glare. “Eren should be going home, not me.”

“Don’t do this, Mikasa.” Jean said, nudging her lightly. “Don’t give up on your life again because he’s gone. You’ve fought this long and you deserve to win.”

From where they sat, Mikasa realized the duo could see the door to Eren’s room. She’d found out about Eren’s death not even an hour ago and already the door and the rest of the floor seemed to haunt her.

“It hurts,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he agreed, chuckling bitterly. “It does. And it feels like the end of the world, but somehow you’ve got to keep living.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She was still crying, but at least her tears were falling silently and she’d stopped hiccupping.

After a few more minutes, Jean broke the silence by asking, “Did you love him?”

“Yes.” She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. “No. I don’t know. I only knew him for a few months. I’ll never know now.” She paused, looking away from Eren’s empty doorway. “Did you love Marco?”

Jean leaned his head atop hers, resting his elbows on his knees. “Maybe. Like you said, I’ll never know now. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t… if he was still alive.”

Another silence fell between them, this one a bit more comfortable than the last. The elevator opened across the hall to reveal everyone who’d been at breakfast, and for a second Mikasa panicked on how to tell her friends of Eren’s death, but when she saw their disheartened expressions and the way none of them could look her in the eye, she realized Dr. Hanji must have already told them.

“What now?” Mikasa asked.

Jean took a heavy breath. “We keep fighting. And we live on.”

That afternoon, Mikasa found Levi in the cafeteria. He opened his mouth for what was sure to be a speech about the necessity of eating, but Mikasa cut him off.

“I can’t stay here anymore.”

His eyes immediately softened. “You’ll be leaving soon.”

She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I can’t, Levi. Everything here, it reminds me of him.”

“I’ll talk to Erwin,” Levi promised with a sigh, handing her his tray.

Whatever he’d said must have convinced the head doctor, because that evening Dr. Smith told her she was leaving that night.

The remaining patients on the floor all joined her outside for her departure. Reiner helped her with her suitcase as Levi hurriedly signed the last of the paperwork that Erwin provided.

“Hope I don’t have to see you here anymore, Mikasa.” Annie said with a small smile.

“Same to you.” She answered. “Get out of here soon.”

Mikasa adjusted the scarf around her neck, stepping into the car before rolling down the window of Levi’s car once Jean signaled for her to.

“You live near Sina, right?” He asked.

“I do now, yes.”

Jean smiled. “I live around there. Let’s keep in touch, okay?”

Beside her, Levi started the car, mumbling something about running over the boy’s foot if he didn’t move from “the damn side of the car” soon.

“Sure.”

Armin slipped a book through the window, giving her a small smile. “Eren marked all the places he wanted to visit in that one.”

Mikasa felt her insides clench as she gripped the geography book. “Armin… thank you.”

“Goodbye, Mikasa.”

“Goodbye.”

She waved out of the window until she and Levi were too far to see anyone anymore. Placing the book on her lap, Mikasa pulled her scarf over her mouth and rested her head against the window.

“It’s going to fucking suck, Mikasa.” Levi said, breaking the silence they’d kept so far. “And I don’t know how to help you, how to make the pain go away.”

“I don’t know if it ever will,” she sighed. She reached for his hand blindly; he caught it above the console between them, linking their fingers together. “I’m going to live, Levi. I owe him that much. If I die, I can’t remember him, and what he did for all of us… what he did for me.”

Levi squeezed her hand lightly. “And you hated him at first.”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, but a smile tugged at her lips.

She would live.

——-

Six years later, Mikasa was officially declared cancer free.

True to their word, she and Jean had kept in touch, especially once Jean was released from the hospital. When Armin was cleared of the disease, the three of them met up, and realized they’d all come up with the same idea.

Mikasa had studied to become an oncologist, just like Eren had wanted to, and to her surprise, so had Jean and Armin.

Together, they founded a new hospital in a city that desperately needed one, a children’s hospital they named Jaeger’s New Hope Hospital.

Armin dealt with the finances and most of the expenses while Mikasa and Jean treated most of the patients.

They told stories about Eren and his incredible hope to all of the children, and out of everything they did for their patients, the stories about him always seemed to make them the happiest.

After a few years, Eren’s father came to join their slowly growing staff, along with Levi.

Mikasa, along with everyone’s help, started a charity in Eren’s honor. She let Jean name it the Fight And Win Foundation, and with the help of their former doctors, nurses, and ward mates, the charity became one of the biggest in Sina.

Mikasa, Jean, and Armin traveled around the world with the foundation, and they took special care to visit all the places Eren wanted to in order to raise money for cancer patients.

She made sure to take pictures everywhere they went, and with Armin’s help Mikasa covered an entire hallway in the New Hope Hospital with pictures for Eren.

Mikasa still missed him like crazy, she knew they all did, but she had a life to live and kids to help survive.

She’d promised Eren to keep living, to fight, and not once did Mikasa go back on that promise.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by textsfromtitanfood.tumblr.com's cancer ward au headcanons. I hope you enjoyed it!


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